The hardest trials I go through in life aren't the life-threatening ones, those filled with persecution, or those in which other things fail or go awry... the hardest ones for me are the spiritually bleak ones. Those times when you're prayers seem to bounce off of heaven and echo right back in your own ears. The times when your heart is heavy with no releif.
I try to remember the days Jesus spent in the wilderness, but sometimes I'm easily distracted. Distracted by the things going on around me, the multitude of unanswered questions piling up inside, the depression and disbelief knocking at my door...
If I think about it all too much, I know I'll succumb. Everything happens for a reason. My head knows I'm supposed to be learning to trust God and just let Him have control. Why is my heart so deceitful? I know now why David spoke to his soul. He was having the same problem! He knew what was supposed to be happening, but his heart wasn't there.
Praise the Lord, oh my soul, and all that is within me... praise His holy name.