Last night, at church, God really convicted me of where I was in my relationship with Him. It's not that I don't love Jesus Christ with all my heart, soul, and mind... it's that He has called me to something deeper than that. He has called me to have a divine romance with Himself. A depth of love, a relationship, a passion so overwhelming that it is all that I am.
Am I led by my spirit to such an extent that I AM the will of God?? Does every step I take glorify Him in that it was ordained by His perfect will?? This is what I want... this is what I need.
Lately, I have been suffocated by the affairs of this world. I have felt like I was drowning in a sea of strife, chaos, confusion... nothing that is of God. Every phone call. Every conversation. There seemed to be no escape... It sounds easy to say, just shut it all off - but we all know it doesn't work like that. Not when relationships are on the line. Not when SOULS are on the line. However, I have realized that I have been looking at it all wrong. God doesn't want me to find a way of escape; He doesn't have me in this predicament so that I end up "shutting off". God has me here so that, in the end, He can be glorified. And that is all. I am supposed to go through it, not get out of it. The one and only way that is going to happen, is by being encompassed in that overwhelming relationship with Him I mentioned before.
Instead of being so worried about the thoughts and actions of men, I have to KNOW that God's thoughts and actions are all that matter. My words and my actions should reflect Him. I am supposed to be ready in season and out of season for all these phone calls and conversations. The spirit of God in me should be directing the things that I say.
God help me to love you so dramatically that I am undoubtedly the bride of Christ. Help me to know You and to know Your will so that my spirit is in perfect alignment with Yours. Have Your way in me.