Sensory Processing Disorder

Sensory Processing Disorder. SPD.

It looks a little bit different for every child. Sometimes it’s a stand-alone diagnosis, and sometimes it walks hand in hand with autism, ADHD, anxiety, and many others.

For us, SPD looked a whole lot like an extreme tantrum mixed with a little fear and a whole lot of rage. Which is saying a lot when it’s embodied by a two and a half year old. It looked like a meltdown that would either end like someone flicked a light switch, or with a tear streaked face passed out in your arms.

It still looks like angry crying for “no reason,” and simply wanting to be home. It wants everything to be perfect, to have a schedule, to know ahead of time the steps that will be taken, and it needs plenty of time to “warm up.” It needs the ability to recharge, to get away, and to feel safe. It can’t stand a combination of loud noise, things changing quickly, and bright, flashing, colorful lights. It’s wanting to be in the crook of your mom’s arm, pressed tightly against her chest to go to sleep at night - but avoiding most other physical affection/touch by almost everyone else on the planet.

It’s losing it because her senses were already overwhelmed at the laser-tag party (from all the new kids, loud music and sounds, flashing lasers and glow in the dark lights)... and then, finally, her piece of cake kept flipping on its side and icing was getting everywhere.

SPD is complicated. It’s messy. It’s an emotional whirlwind and a constant struggle.

But there is nothing more beautiful than hearing your SPD child say she WANTS to invite half her softball team to her own birthday party... then actually proceed to have FUN with the first friends she’s made in three.solid.years.

Were there tears throughout the day? Absolutely. But she pushed through them. 

She communicated her needs, her feelings, and she made her way out the other side without losing control.

We still didn’t sing the “Happy Birthday” song, or blow out candles - that was still too much for her - but the fact that she was able to pinpoint that issue, and voice it out loud to me, is an incredible achievement all of its own.

My baby is six years old. And, SPD, she’s beating you one day at a time.